I gave birth to Delilah on the 18h of March, the same day that Tassie announced it was closing its borders. My mum was due to fly over to meet our baby on the 20th.
The week before giving birth was when the coronavirus panic started kicking in. Toilet paper unavailable etc. I’m an electrician and have a domestic electrical business, so while I was supposed to be getting zen, reading birthing books, applying for parenting payments etc. I was managing staff and trying to set things in place for a pandemic induced recession.
The birth itself (although long) wasn’t too bad. Since the age of 11, I’ve had excruciating pain with my periods, pain with ovulation and fatigue among other symptoms. I remember mum having to take me to hospital because I was vomiting with the pain. I was given some pills, sent to a gynaecologist who gave me some more pills, none of which made a difference. And so, from then until we decided to start a family in 2016, I just chomped down pain killers and gritted my teeth through my periods.
As a same-sex couple, falling pregnant isn’t that easy. You have to go through a variety of tests, have your eggs collected, fertilised and then implanted in the hope of producing a pregnancy. While undergoing these tests I was found to have stage 4 Endometriosis. One of my ovaries was fused to my uterus. This led to a laparoscopy, during which it was found my bowel was also fused to my uterus. Unfortunately, the placement of this fusing meant my eggs were unable to be collected without undergoing bowel surgery.
This left us with some tough decisions. They couldn’t access my eggs without surgery. But the surgery came with a lot of risks. We therefore decided to use one of my wife's eggs (which we already had frozen) which was fertilised by the same donor sperm as our son.
Since being diagnosed with Endometriosis I’ve often been asked what the pain is like but I've never really known how to describe it. It’s a weird, deep, unrelenting pain that doesn’t really compare to anything else I’ve had, that is until I went through child birth.
At least with childbirth the contractions come and go, giving you a chance to breathe. For me, the pain associated with Endometriosis is very similar but without the break and the amazing gift once the pain stops.
The weeks after birth have been tough due to restrictions brought in to combat the Coronavirus. Our post birth appointments all changed to phone consultations, and parent’s groups are now online, it’s all felt quite cold and clinical. The hardest part though is that no friends or family have been allowed to visit.
~ On a positive note, the extra time we’ve been able to spend with our son and our newborn daughter has been really nice.
Once the restrictions start to be lifted my biggest wish is that interstate travel will soon be allowed so that my family can meet their newest granddaughter, neice and cousin and give us all a hug!
Thanks so much to Sally and her family for sharing their experience over the last few months. If you’d like to learn more about Sally’s business via the website:
Sally also created an Instagram page to support those with endometriosis that you can follow here: